Nostalgia

I am officially in my fourth trimester. For the uninitiated, this is the 12-week transitional period after childbirth, where the baby is figuring out how to exist in this loud, bright world and the parents are figuring out how to exist on zero sleep and sheer adrenaline. It is a time of bonding, physical recovery, and wondering if I will ever have a moment to myself that doesn't involve a nappy or a burp cloth. Here is a little glimpse into my new reality: I’ve discovered I can apparently function on exactly three hours of sleep, even though I was always a light sleeper. Of course, this "function" is fuelled by a perpetual headache and exhaustion. My body is in a constant state of "emergency" with neck, shoulder, and back pain, and I’m pretty much irritated at everything and everyone. The only exception is the baby, who gets a total pass. At the same time, my mind has shifted into a state of high alert that I didn't know was possible. I’ve become hyper-aware...

Almost a year ago, though it feels like a lifetime now, my husband and I were debating why we actually wanted children. Life as a DINK (Double Income, No Kids) couple was pretty peaceful, predictable, and perfectly curated. Why on earth were we inviting a hurricane into our sanctuary? To be honest, the sight of children didn’t exactly spark joy for me. Public meltdowns were usually just a headache, and I’d often catch myself unintentionally rolling my eyes at embarrassed parents struggling to contain screaming toddlers. I never wanted to be "that person." Between being a chronically light sleeper and prone to migraines at the drop of a hat, the "baby lifestyle" felt like a direct threat to my sanity. Fast forward to a few months ago, and the irony was not lost on me. I found myself in my ninth month, groaning with pelvic pain every time I rolled over in bed and frantically buying newborn essentials online. This wasn't an accident; it was a deliberate, fully plan...