Nostalgia

Every year, my landlord conveys his dire wish to my parents to receive my wedding card. Every year, I convey my dire wish to him to renew my rent agreement as well as my "singlehood." I wonder if I have disappointed other Gods as much as Cupid. He must be whining from above at my destiny, "This woman, what a waste!" more so because he must have manifested himself in hundreds of forms through hundreds of friends or random strangers, but each time, each time I have miserably failed him. While my Gods have given up on me, my parents have not. They have everything I lack- an undeterred vision, determination, and dedication to steer me through this ride of groom hunting. You see, the only thing consistent throughout the 28 years of my existence is that I am an average, plain Jane in all aspects alike. So, I get intimidated and overwhelmed by flowery adjectives and fancy titles used in the bio and preference section of the prospects that show up on the matrimonial apps.

By day, I bask in my solitude,  Solitude as a weapon of freedom, To sustain my inner peace,  In a world full of chaos.  Solitude is the shield then,  I love shielding my world with.  By night, I loathe this solitude,  And love to name it as "Loneliness". The warmth fades away.  Cold creeps in my soul,  As I lie awake like a broken-winged bird Counting the hours.  My self-created shield now throttles me,  Amid the silence of the world.